Day 2: Hikes, BBQ, and Sketchy Trampolines

Wait a second, I'm in Hawaii without sunglasses? How stupid am I?

Better.

Today was our first opportunity to go for a hike, so we took a 25 minute drive to a location called "Crouching Lion." Fitting name, the whole time felt like I was being stalked by a crouching lion on account of my proximity to death.

Why does three minutes of exercise feel like an isis interrogation

The views definitely made the struggle worthwhile. I sat on a rock for about twenty minutes just taking in the sights and doing some writing. I have a pretty bad fear of heights if you didn't know, so I was probably just staying there to avoid coming down. I don't remember, I was completely blacked out from the terror. I only figured out that I got some writing done later in the day when I saw a note in my phone with the sentence "They'll never find me" over and over.

This is the edge of the water

This is a different thing

We had just started down the path when it started raining. This is about the time where I regained consciousness. It was slippery and I almost fell several times, but luckily there were plenty of tree branches to hang on to. You know what they say: "Trees, nature's ladder"

I saw some cool looking plants on the way back. According to legend, if you eat one of these little bastards your first born son will be a world class surfer. I just ate half to make sure he doesn't drown in the community pool.

 

The "koakuhanuakuwana hoola hipster" plant. They have magical powers.

Next stop was a beach, big surprise. I was ready to relax after my 15 minutes of exercise, but my sister's crew brought me to a trampoline built into the ocean. It seems cool, right? Bounce off the trampoline into the beautiful Hawaiian shores. Turns out its hard as shit to climb, half the trampoline is broken, and the waves crashed me into the infrastructure and gave me booboos. Also, I didn't get any pictures because it was too far away but here's a picture of a different part of that beach.

I could have made that whole thing up

After the beach was a cookout, which means we need to pick up some stuff to contribute. We made our way to target where the EMPLOYEES wear FLORAL ALOHA SHIRTS. I was flabbergasted. It was an ironic and thinly veiled attempt of using Hawaiian culture to distract from the state's history of American brutal imperialism and appropriation of said culture.  Also, they were tacky.

You are adults

We picked up food and made our way to a friend's house where we had delicious ribs, rice, corn, and plenty of beer. It was only about 8 people, and somehow I was immediately asked about competitive Super Smash Brothers and and how it is, in fact, different than Mario Kart.

Damn normies don't know shit

Our dinner settled and the drinking began. 5 of us played a few rounds of rage cage, a drinking game that involves flip cup and a whole lot of drinking. Too much for ya boy. I threw up quite a lot, providing a beacon of interest for their dogs all night. Then I had more ribs.

If you see this at a party, you better prepare a water bottle, breath mints, and an escape route.

I crashed on the couch around 12:30. I think I'm gonna make the next day a chill day.

That concludes day two! Leave a comment if you liked the post or have any questions. Be back tomorrow!