Days 9 And 10: Hop, Jump, and a Skip to Sydney

*Writers note* Im writing this three days behind. Due to the combination of an active schedule and a near consistent hangover over the last couple days it's been hard to find time to work on this entry. If you have been in agonizing anticipation then, well, I seriously feel bad for you. I also didn't edit this due to time constraints, so please send a message to me on FB if you see a spelling error so I can fix it. Thank you!

Last morning in Narrabri! No!!! I finished my morning tribute of fighting with wifi for thirty minutes with a change of success. I got internet access! Aparently, at that exact moment, the verizon people fixed the internet of everybody in town, or something like that. Anyway, it was a nice little pick me up to an otherwise gloomy morning. 

Mr and Mrs W. got home from their half days and we started getting ready to go. I requested we grab some of those kick ass wings on the way out but the B-Machine hooked me up with a plate when he got home. I approve of this man as the father of my unborn nephew.

This tree famously stood there and watched nothing happen for thousands of years

We got on the road for a seven hour drive to Sydney. It's a beautiful country, honestly, but once you see it for two minutes you see it for two hours. The B-dog pointed to a mountain that looked like a nipple and told me it was nippe mountain. I believed him without question, which made hurt all the more when it was revealed that he had told a fib. For the next few hours I had to put on a happy face and pretend that everything was okay, even though it so wasn't

To pass the time we would look up at the trees trying to find Koalas. I'll spoil it now, there were none. Well, I'm assuming there were some out somewhere because we saw a sign warning us of their presence and idiocity. I think I will end my trip without holding a Koala, which is sad, but then I remember that people come to America all the time and none of them find little Deer to hold. That would be stupid

"Hit these bastards: 15 points"

Our stretches of open country were interrupted by small towns, naturally. Most if not all of them were less nice than Narrabri, but I might be saying that because me and Narrabri had, like, a thing. Either way, they came and went quickly and nothing really stood out to me as being interesting. I think that says enough in and of itself.

Somebody find me this marketing team

At around 7-ish we got close enough to reward our journey with dinner. It was raining outside, too, if anyone gives a shit about that. Through the rain we trudged into a new store that looked like if a diehard liberal and a forest went from Treehugging to Treebreeding. And then that tree-man went to business school, but then dropped out after three semesters because he smoked too much weed. Then he started working out and getting his shit together, finally realizing his potential and the beauty of work ethic. Some lover-trees came and went, some Elk too which was a weird phase, and in his thirties he had saved enough money to start a restaurant that sold healthy food that was really good called Oliver's.

*Abridged version* We went to this place called Olivers.

It was Tree-man's dream all along

We made it the last twenty minutes to our room and touched down for the night, myself crashing almost immediately. I think that's funny how people can spend all day in a car, sitting down and not doing anything, then come home and crash like they just took their last final in High School. It's like, yea, you technically did something, but I don't think it's something that warrents pride nor a nap.

The next morning had our crew seperate into Team A and Team B, Team A consisting of myself, Jacki, and Tayla, and Team B being Brendon because that's his nickname in this paragraph. Team B needed a car so he went to look for them while my sisters and I went out for a day out on the town. A short walk from the hotel room brought us to a train station with little lumch places all about. It was there that I tried my first Thai food, honey chicken with fried rice. Now that I think about it, that's pretty similar to Chinese food. And Japanese food. I've been bamboozled!

You Multi-Faceted Scoundrel Asian Food Industry

We got on the train, yadda yadda, then it was DRINK TIME I was a little too excited about that, sorry, but all the beer I've had here so far was amazing and I was excited to try as many more as possible. I think I would need another 3 days of heavy drinking to try them all, too. I started a list and ranking of what I drank but I stopped after like 4, I wonder why? If you can figure out that mystery, submit your answers to Itwasbecauseiwasdrunk.com

I just gave most of them a 7

After our first bar we were ready for an activity. Luckily, there was an aquarium right next door that looked cheap. We walked all around the building looking for the entrance until we stumbled upon the cafeteria. Passed the cafeteria was the gift shop. "Interesting" Team A thought as a collective, "Most places in America have gift shops at the end! This place is cool and different." 

We saw mad fish at this acquarium. Fighting a strangely prominent opposition of foot traffic, we had a good time looking at all the little fishies and making Finding Nemo references. It was cool, hanging out with my sisters like that, we havn't done something like that in years. At one point I blurted out "I feel like I'm twelve again" but caught myself because when I was twelve I had a terrible attitude. "I feel like I'm ten" I corrected. No way, tha's too young, my vantage point now is a solid two feet over my ten year old height. "I feel like... we havn't hung out... in a while." Nailed it. Call me Mr. Metaphor.

I think they're in battlestations

One thing we noticed about this acquarium was the amount of ankle biters roaming about. For every picture I have of a fish I have two audio memories of a kid crying or shitting their pants. Most parents were exhausted and not enjoying the cute fishes at all. To be fair, most parents know about fish and how interesting they are when they do nothing. I don't know if that lifestyle clicked as the future for my pregnant sister, but I hope that her disproportionate love for colorful fish does not fade with parenthood.

This guy knows what's up

I do need to give a shoutout to these PENGUINS DAWWGGG they were hoppin up the stairs and swimming and all that good stuff. True showmans, those penguins. There was a constant layer of tourists with their phones tryna get some action with these little celebrities, and I was happy to see them get some love. Although, for all we know, the penguins might hate the fact that they're being watched. What we see as cute tricks in the water could definitely be some sort of evasive maneuver triggered by their constant maintenance. Maybe the nervous poops that Joshua the penguin gets every morning before open isn't from stage fright, but from a lifelong battle with depression and anxiety caused by his parents dying young from similar chronic mental problems. 

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Probably not! Look how cute this one is! 

Hang in there, Joshua.

Passed the penguins was a strange sign that said "Exit only" and a line facing us. Oh shit. We totally just skipped the entire line and got free admission to this aquarium. We slowly walked backwards Scooby-Doo style to get out of there, making an effort to not make eye contact with any employee on the way out. I did make sure to stop by my cute bird friends to let them know I was on their side. "Don't worry guys, we got revenge for you." I thought. "Together we can take down the man!" 

We somehow got through the whole gift shop wihout buying a single stuffed penguin, even the ones that look like the main characters from Happy Feet. Embarrassed by our traspassing, we decided to hide from any emotions by going to bars and drinking more. A couple of beers and a plate of wings later, we were back in business. Also, closing in was happy hour, which we all know and love as the best 3 hours any hour can offer.

They will never be Narrabri wings. These were just rebound wings.

We hit two more bars after that, or maybe three. One? A certain amount of bars later, we decided to get some ice cream. Nothing too special about it except that it was the bomb.net and a highlight of my day. I ate it so quickly that I forgot to take a picture of it, but it doesn't really matter because we all know what Ice Cream looks like and I doubt that including proof of purchase makes this blog any better. Rather than that, I can just include a picture of Team A right after we ate it.

Wow Jacki needs to lay off the ice cream

I needed to do some shopping for a special someone *wink* but I didn't really see any stores on the road. Then we saw it. Market City. A city within a city. Actually, we were in Chinatown, so it was really a City within a Town within a City within a simultanious country/continent. Political savvy aside, I was not prepared for such a crazy new shopping opportunity. I assumed it was going to have some pretty low grade goods, because come on, it's china town. Not trying to lump all their goods together, but I never see a cheap toy without "Made in China" on the back. Like, whenever I see "Made in Canada" it's on a book, or "Made in America" on the side of the road, or "Made in Russia" on the White House. lol sorry I had to 

Again, marketing in Australia is just leagues ahead

I got all my shopping done in like 10 minutes; that's right ladies, it's possible. It was time to go home and we did that without a single interesting thing happening. Well, something interesting might have happened, but I was a fair bid pissed at the moment and I'm writing this three days later so give me a break, damnit.  We had dinner at home and I was weird enough to choose strawberry milk as my accompanying drink of choice with chicken and potatoes. It was delicious but it's like having a milkshake with your spaghetti or a T-bone with Merlot, a ridiculous pairing.

Sadly, we did not follow through with out after-dinner plans of finding live music at a bar. We made the mistake of going too hard in the paint too early and by nine we were ready to crash. No worries, the next day I had a smash tournament and I was super ready to get a good night's sleep. 

So, uh that's it.